http://thecatholicspirit.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1449&Itemid=27Prayer helps mom cope with son's disappearance By Dave Hrbacek
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Jackie Edberg of St. Odilia in Shoreview will never forget April 14, 1999.
That was the day she last saw her son, Nathan, who was 21 at the time. He ate dinner at her house, then left for police reserve training at White Bear Lake City Hall.
She never saw him again. His truck was found abandoned on the shoulder of Interstate 694 where it is joined by 35E. There were a few footprints heading east from the scene, but nothing more.
Edberg and her three remaining children have spent the last 10 years wondering whether to mourn his death or hold out hope that he is alive somewhere.
This year marks the 10th anniversary of his disappearance. A prayer service will be held at 7 p.m. April 14 at St. Odilia.
St. Odilia liturgical coordinator Mari Meyer has been working closely with Edberg on the service, and said the event, while focusing on Nathan, is for anyone who has loved ones missing or wants to pray for families dealing with the issue.
“We want people, in honor of Nathan, to pray for all missing children,” Meyer said. “The message that Jackie clearly wants to convey is our hope is in Christ.”
Surrendering to GodFor Edberg, the last 10 years have been a journey of deepening her faith as she continues to hope for Nathan’s reappearance, while at the same time, resigning herself to the reality that she may never see him again.
“I do think Nathan’s disappearance has given me a stronger relationship with God,” she said. “When I surrendered it to God, it became easier to live with.”
Though a cloud of mystery hangs over the whole incident, one thing is clear — Nathan was a troubled young man the night he pulled out of his mother’s driveway in his white Ford Ranger pickup truck.
First, there was his father, Bob, who had let his life spiral downward due to alcoholism. The effects of this led to his separation from Jackie in 1997.
They were separated when Nathan disappeared, although Nathan was talking regularly to Bob at the time. The couple divorced in 2000, however, and Bob died in 2001.
Then, there were career and employment issues. Nathan tried college for a year after graduating from White Bear Lake High School in 1996, then worked a series of jobs before quitting the last one the month before he disappeared.
Finally, there was the breakup with his girlfriend. They had dated for four years before the relationship ended.
“Every area of his life was falling apart,” Jackie said. “There was just an awful lot of pain in Nathan’s life in coming to terms with what was happening.”
That is why she followed him into the driveway after dinner the night he disappeared. She wanted to leave him with an encouraging word.
“I remember saying, ‘Nathan, hang in there. You’re going to feel good again soon,’” she said. “And, he said, ‘I love you, Mom. I want to feel good again.’”
Your help neededAnyone with information about Nathan Edberg’s whereabouts is urged to call the Ramsey County Sheriff’s Office Investigations Unit at (651) 266-7320.
Getting the word outIt was several days later before Jackie started to worry. Nathan was living with his cousin at the time and Jackie checked in with him a few days later and left a message for her son.
The day after that, she filed a missing person report. Then, she was planning to try to get media coverage that would hopefully lead to finding her son.
A major news story, however, changed her plans.
“Six days after Nathan’s disappearance, the Columbine shootings happened,” she said. “I just wasn’t going to get any local coverage of one missing kid after those shootings.”
Still she persisted, contacting local newspapers and TV stations, then moving to national outlets like “Oprah” and “America’s Most Wanted.” But nobody picked up the story, perhaps because there was no evidence of foul play.
That fact gives Edberg hope that maybe her son is still alive. Yet, she says it’s not like him to just leave everyone he knows behind without a trace or an explanation. As many challenges as he faced, he still cared deeply about his family, she said.
The family has tried hard to move forward without Nathan. In the days and week’s following his disappearance, Edberg realized that how she dealt with it would have a heavy impact on her children — Tony, now 28, Jennaya, 24, and Allison, 18.
She did not want them to grow older looking back on April 14, 1999 as the day their mother stopped laughing and enjoying life.
“I think you choose to be happy or you choose to be miserable [after a tragedy like this], but you work at both,” she said. “For my life, I’ve chosen to find happiness. We’re closer as a family.”
Edberg wants the prayer service to evoke more hope than sorrow. “I would like to see it as a comfort and a support,” she said. “with a message that God’s in charge. That’s where we should all have hope.”
And, she hopes the prayer service will deliver a message to family and friends of Nathan that she repeats often: “Everything works for the glory of God for those who believe.”
